Victoria has a secret. David has a closet.
 

Men's black sleeveless He-man T-shirts designed by Mr. T hisself, emblazoned with Halloween orange and white lettering across the back and over the left breast pocket. These shirts are so popular they are second only to Harley-Davidson T-shirts.

Short sleeve T-shirts: S, M, L, XL, XXL $15.00

Awesome sleeveless workout T-shirts: S, M, L, XL, XXL $15.00

 
Ladies’ night shirts emblazoned on the back with, "Sleeping with the pain? Call me, The Pain Killer." One size fits all, $15.00. He’ll get the message, and a night off, and you’ll get the massage, if you call. Our aim is to make everyone happy.

Black baseball hats embroidered with Masseur David The Pain Killer, $12.00. You'll need to put your own redneck bends in the visors. These are great conversation starters strolling along the beach. If you don't know where to take the conversation after singing to her, or reciting it, if you can't sing, The Pain Killers Rap, then reading David’s Boot Camp for Men may not even help you. We cannot help everyone, but we try.
 

Our large black canvas beach bags for $25.00 are embroidered with Masseur David The Pain Killer in our infamous Halloween orange and white. “L.L. Beanie” baggers go off to the woods to be eaten by critters, while we go to the beach, concerts and picnics, and generally have some good earthy fun in other ways. These sturdy bags measure approximately 17.5” wide x 15” tall x 5.5” deep. Originally designed to carry my linens to and from the clinic, they can easily carry 3 pizzas, or 4 if you are really hungry. The inside is covered with industrial strength rubber bonded to the canvas, so they are waterproof. You could use them carry home a whole mess of corn and beans and a cabbage or two on a good day.

There is even a secret inside zippered pocket for your valuables like the truck keys and your watch so that you’ll be sure to git yerself home on time. Ladies use these bags for the beach, as diaper bags, for knitting stuff, or for picking vegetables out in the garden. There is an outside newspaper, magazine or junk mail pouch. Mine carries my oil holster, sunscreen, CD’s and my cigars, when I can afford them. It also doubles as a gym bag.

Ordering information: Specify size and quantity in your telephone only order. No credit card transactions. No Pay Pal hi-tech internet nonsense to confuse a simple transaction. You call me, and maybe, I call you. We agree. You send a check. I receive said check. I send merchandise. Allow three weeks for UPS delivery.